1. |
Goons
02:46
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You look like a mess, with goons in your head like me, you’re going on about Hashem and I’m a jerk cuz I’m not listening. I’m not gonna tell you if I think you’re pretty, you don’t care enough to listen and I’m too shy to say.
It’s not my place anyway, I don’t know you like they do, and I don’t want to. I can’t carry your baggage on the train. It’s just your aura, or something stupidly mystical that makes me think of kissing you, but you’re too tired to stay.
But I’ve learned to be as flippant as the way you slam your car door when you walk into the diner at 10 o'clock at night, and you stay til four, all alone, they don’t kick you out cuz you’re just that charming when you’re sipping cold black coffee til the sun comes up and it’s time to hit the road.
You look like a mess, with goons in your head like me, I'm going on about The End and how I'd want you to come along with me, like Keira Knightley in that shitty rom-com movie, but I just now realize that if you were in a movie, you would take the leading role.
It’s nostalgia I’ve created, I’m stuck in the loop again, and the cinematic scene I’ve replayed over in my head is so unreal, you’re so unreal, and I’m so fucked to be so lost in framing my whole self around the cost of blood that I’ve forgotten to pay, I’ve forgotten to know myself, I’ve forgotten to live.
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2. |
With Age Comes Burden
02:06
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I’ve started laying on the median of the grocery store parking lot, getting high at shows when I go alone and don’t care enough to talk to anyone. I’ve started seeing God in the produce section next to the heirloom tomatoes, meddling in the occult before I got around to reading Dawkins.
Everybody knows that with age comes burden, like when I turned 21 I saw the dark side of all my friends, and I showed the dark side of myself to all the people I love and felt ashamed.It just goes to show that although we know how to be healthy, it doesn’t mean that we’ll act that way.
So I’ve started wondering what it would be like to make out with all of my best friends at once, going to shows alone just to get high again and not talk to anyone. I’m seeing Jesus in the terminal, buying soft pretzels for his disciples. I’ve started talking to my grandfather for the first time since they burned his body.
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3. |
The New Vision
02:47
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I like you when we watch homoerotic film as we hotbox the room giggling til our hunger subsides, and if I'm Allen Ginsberg then you're Lucien Carr. I don't want to tell you exactly how far away I'm feeling.
I like you when we talk just about you and all the disarray you have in your head. So I'll be Allen Ginsberg and you be Lucien Carr. We can play til it's dark or at least til I have to disappear.
Oh honey bee, you haven't seen the worst of me, but I'm hoping that you have seen the last.
I don’t wanna to dance with you cuz I’ve got two left feet and I’m mesmerized by how the trains go so fast.
I like you when we are smoking cigarettes, just sitting on your deck, with tears streaming down my face, and you don’t say a word because everything has been said. Maybe you know how far away I’m feeling.
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